https://abigailruthonline.com Abigail Ruth Online Mon, 14 Oct 2024 18:23:22 +0000 https://abigailruthonline.com en https://abigailruthonline.com/Main Wed, 10 Nov 2021 00:57:07 +0000 Abigail Ruth Online https://abigailruthonline.com/Main Abigail Ruth A Mother Is A House, 2024 A Mother Is A House, 2025 about journalcontact <img width="4000" height="6000" width_o="4000" height_o="6000" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/70acde661dbed4758b692af6c20534f4e77a6b1442835e50bdbfc949ad2a9763/DSC00512.jpg" data-mid="219736528" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/70acde661dbed4758b692af6c20534f4e77a6b1442835e50bdbfc949ad2a9763/DSC00512.jpg" /> photo by Malik; edited by&nbsp;Hanna&nbsp;( www.starvingxartists.com/ ) https://abigailruthonline.com/ABOUT Sat, 04 Dec 2021 19:49:08 +0000 Abigail Ruth Online https://abigailruthonline.com/ABOUT ︎︎︎ about abigail ruth<img width="724" height="1086" width_o="724" height_o="1086" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/8814d8b9945380cf5589c9d07382d3aeca0c47f08e667e8beb30fb191e4d186b/48A7D0CB-9542-4C93-8E4E-A1D13CA6B13C_1_105_c.jpeg" data-mid="228318858" border="0" data-scale="29" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/724/i/8814d8b9945380cf5589c9d07382d3aeca0c47f08e667e8beb30fb191e4d186b/48A7D0CB-9542-4C93-8E4E-A1D13CA6B13C_1_105_c.jpeg" />&nbsp; Abigail Ruth McAlister (b. 1997) is an artist born and raised in Durham, NC. She was transformed by her experiences as a birthing person and caregiver, which motivated the genesis of her shared art practice. Through deconstructing and reimagining ephemera, textiles, found objects, and combining them with fly-posting tools, such as wheatpaste, nails, and staples, she investigates matrescence, the pyschological process of becoming a mother, in order to establish new narratives and associations for mother identity, the need for responsibility, and the desire for rebellion. Her works serve as externalizations of the internal processes that are integral in generating new representational space and modes of understanding. ARTIST STATEMENTEssential to understanding the psychology of maternity are the concepts of totality and dedication. Through my work, I investigate the cycles of a woman’s life, with a focus on caregiving, resulting in visceral work that explores the dichotomy of motherhood and individuality. I connect wasteful consumer culture with caretaking as a stride toward more awareness of impermanence and sacrifice to coming generations from past and present ones. Instagram: @abeemca https://abigailruthonline.com/A-Mother-Is-A-House Mon, 14 Oct 2024 18:23:22 +0000 Abigail Ruth Online https://abigailruthonline.com/A-Mother-Is-A-House A Mother Is A House&nbsp; Solo Exhibition, NorthStar Church of the Arts, Durham, NC, 2024. A Mother Is A House invites viewers to reflect on the often-overlooked labor of mothering, presenting it as an essential part of daily life. Through the use of household and home-building materials, the exhibition transforms the mundane and domestic into symbols of deep significance. Onesie snaps, rubber nipples, and other remnants of early caregiving are pasted to building materials, romanticizing routine tasks and securing moments that define the early years of motherhood into pieces of home. Bricks anchor the essential narrative of mothering. Beams act as connectors, representing the bonds formed between mother and child that offer support for growth. Walls embody the relationships with time and space, standing as markers of developmental milestones and the constant passage of time that shapes the physical and emotional landscapes of caregiving. Binding these materials together is a quick mixture of flour and water, a humble yet powerful adhesive that carries a subtle hint of rebellion. Its strength and immediacy mirror the resourcefulness of a mother meeting the urgent needs of caregiving with quiet resilience. In this way, mothering is revealed not just as a practice, but as a structure—one that holds, supports, and transforms lives. <img width="1545" height="1996" width_o="1545" height_o="1996" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/bbcbda413a35599eed0052baacc0e6512f45e862b6ea4c9c383a8df0ae6c291f/A-MOTHER-IS-A-HOUSE-8-2.jpg" data-mid="222193887" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/bbcbda413a35599eed0052baacc0e6512f45e862b6ea4c9c383a8df0ae6c291f/A-MOTHER-IS-A-HOUSE-8-2.jpg" /> <img width="3220" height="2253" width_o="3220" height_o="2253" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/327a83f59f90b2580437bf1b166d5d9284df0c3071677d69574470df71e2a250/AMIAHpostcard-2.JPEG" data-mid="222194249" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/327a83f59f90b2580437bf1b166d5d9284df0c3071677d69574470df71e2a250/AMIAHpostcard-2.JPEG" /> <img width="5972" height="3981" width_o="5972" height_o="3981" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/62c149750b02e9003ad24e116bc9ce9a9d416f6d5e61cbb5f790b35383844845/DSC00527.jpg" data-mid="222193929" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/62c149750b02e9003ad24e116bc9ce9a9d416f6d5e61cbb5f790b35383844845/DSC00527.jpg" /> <img width="3986" height="5979" width_o="3986" height_o="5979" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/c198019f7e5ad0ecf8a9269729fe3e9acdd0c8d1ec5916baf08c00960602722c/DSC00529.jpg" data-mid="222193935" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/c198019f7e5ad0ecf8a9269729fe3e9acdd0c8d1ec5916baf08c00960602722c/DSC00529.jpg" /> <img width="5910" height="3940" width_o="5910" height_o="3940" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/08c5d656afc92cd41fd31127d01890e882887701c73fc5b22b5aa76ddc1c08a6/DSC00530.jpg" data-mid="222194252" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/08c5d656afc92cd41fd31127d01890e882887701c73fc5b22b5aa76ddc1c08a6/DSC00530.jpg" /> photos by Malik; edited by Hanna ( www.starvingxartists.com/ ) <img width="5926" height="3951" width_o="5926" height_o="3951" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/0a3cca44890c2c0027002116b2a5b53f730d319a4aee70033cebbe4a97eb54c7/DSC00505.jpg" data-mid="219737010" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/0a3cca44890c2c0027002116b2a5b53f730d319a4aee70033cebbe4a97eb54c7/DSC00505.jpg" /> <img width="5990" height="3993" width_o="5990" height_o="3993" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/7569ede46f00be6224aac55b957ab00c53f6ae3b6519211a72112256bdca3484/DSC00516.jpg" data-mid="219737000" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/7569ede46f00be6224aac55b957ab00c53f6ae3b6519211a72112256bdca3484/DSC00516.jpg" /> <img width="5923" height="3949" width_o="5923" height_o="3949" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/f88e0766795c3d27377098a0469e397cc50847cb8909624df431db313ea6e2b7/DSC00515.jpg" data-mid="219736999" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/f88e0766795c3d27377098a0469e397cc50847cb8909624df431db313ea6e2b7/DSC00515.jpg" /> <img width="5705" height="3803" width_o="5705" height_o="3803" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/e4944cf474999b32aa508921bc04acb66418c8965e760731e864e66ed8cf7e49/DSC00507.jpg" data-mid="219737003" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/e4944cf474999b32aa508921bc04acb66418c8965e760731e864e66ed8cf7e49/DSC00507.jpg" /> <img width="5954" height="3969" width_o="5954" height_o="3969" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/18911bd236df42d6719d711118462398e371fd92b87eda78106121efcba0be1a/DSC00510.jpg" data-mid="219737004" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/18911bd236df42d6719d711118462398e371fd92b87eda78106121efcba0be1a/DSC00510.jpg" /> <img width="5980" height="3987" width_o="5980" height_o="3987" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/02db623fdb56b6f152d8d396e37b27984dd8bceb68b8106cf7c09f5dc38ee3ae/DSC00511.jpg" data-mid="219737005" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/02db623fdb56b6f152d8d396e37b27984dd8bceb68b8106cf7c09f5dc38ee3ae/DSC00511.jpg" /><img width="3923" height="5884" width_o="3923" height_o="5884" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/1a1accce7a18ee3e986923acfc6ff900ab526bd9dd4289b4981651f51c3e23e3/DSC00499.jpg" data-mid="219737007" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/1a1accce7a18ee3e986923acfc6ff900ab526bd9dd4289b4981651f51c3e23e3/DSC00499.jpg" /> <img width="3712" height="5568" width_o="3712" height_o="5568" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/a033927aec3861c2028c57a812f9dd14827b922ae36f7cb688a714cf362618be/Protection-Installationphoto.jpeg" data-mid="226947117" border="0" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/a033927aec3861c2028c57a812f9dd14827b922ae36f7cb688a714cf362618be/Protection-Installationphoto.jpeg" /> https://abigailruthonline.com/11-3-2021 Sun, 21 Nov 2021 18:25:47 +0000 Abigail Ruth Online https://abigailruthonline.com/11-3-2021 <img width="1080" height="1350" width_o="1080" height_o="1350" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/c6e0ee9b3549a5fa4f908b7e4ff3564cc0d22821bfb1010201636909c876c611/bosha7.jpg" data-mid="125231250" border="0" data-scale="9" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/c6e0ee9b3549a5fa4f908b7e4ff3564cc0d22821bfb1010201636909c876c611/bosha7.jpg" /><img width="700" height="1048" width_o="700" height_o="1048" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/191dac95e7b771cc9624b75732dc6960af3f38b6ce01ca3443756346c117e768/IMG_2388.jpg" data-mid="125231248" border="0" data-scale="8" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/700/i/191dac95e7b771cc9624b75732dc6960af3f38b6ce01ca3443756346c117e768/IMG_2388.jpg" /><img width="540" height="675" width_o="540" height_o="675" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/44a9df0242d40236cba3768398cd134508a8f6d8220c21107a6bfc2e0a0eceb4/bosha5.jpg" data-mid="125231249" border="0" data-scale="9" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/540/i/44a9df0242d40236cba3768398cd134508a8f6d8220c21107a6bfc2e0a0eceb4/bosha5.jpg" /><img width="1228" height="1818" width_o="1228" height_o="1818" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/72d14a30366bd2debec6daace1e9978c82efb6358705c396a2f58bbb236e4e97/IMG_3247.jpg" data-mid="125231252" border="0" data-scale="8" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/72d14a30366bd2debec6daace1e9978c82efb6358705c396a2f58bbb236e4e97/IMG_3247.jpg" /><img width="1793" height="2194" width_o="1793" height_o="2194" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/3818a0775cb1307ae1501fe1403d855914a2aba1dfdc2bea7b4485a326f0094f/image-1.jpg" data-mid="125231251" border="0" data-scale="9" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/3818a0775cb1307ae1501fe1403d855914a2aba1dfdc2bea7b4485a326f0094f/image-1.jpg" /><img width="1228" height="1818" width_o="1228" height_o="1818" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/4b1041c272b2a3d39537819e6e762beb29764ab1c1cc00fc61fcffbe50976631/6150100_6150100-R1-E014.jpg.jpg" data-mid="125231253" border="0" data-scale="8" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/4b1041c272b2a3d39537819e6e762beb29764ab1c1cc00fc61fcffbe50976631/6150100_6150100-R1-E014.jpg.jpg" /><img width="750" height="936" width_o="750" height_o="936" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/8cc0ccc5ac85ce7dd2b5a33d52df8473cea13da0dbfff775f3dfe3b6843c4121/IMG_6628.jpg" data-mid="125231257" border="0" data-scale="9" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/750/i/8cc0ccc5ac85ce7dd2b5a33d52df8473cea13da0dbfff775f3dfe3b6843c4121/IMG_6628.jpg" /><img width="340" height="512" width_o="340" height_o="512" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/cfabf97482057d237226c2f7aab4972b9d6ba38c78b9b58090c607468a6cbe68/IMG_5392.jpg" data-mid="125231259" border="0" data-scale="8" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/340/i/cfabf97482057d237226c2f7aab4972b9d6ba38c78b9b58090c607468a6cbe68/IMG_5392.jpg" /><img width="828" height="1031" width_o="828" height_o="1031" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/b75731b422a1cba0a9d05cf536ccbcbb0b9f84652400bda9667e12d849956d2b/phanypaxk.jpg" data-mid="125231246" border="0" data-scale="9" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/828/i/b75731b422a1cba0a9d05cf536ccbcbb0b9f84652400bda9667e12d849956d2b/phanypaxk.jpg" /> ★ blog &gt;&gt; Pregnancy Diaries11/3/2021 &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Many of those who have heard the news have been quite disappointed in me. Probably because I haven’t married. Nor do I live on my own or hold any steady flowing income currently. And it’s pretty scary, don’t get me wrong. There’s a need for support. And while I don’t necessarily feel physically unsupported or spiritually unsupported, my emotional state is consistently ripped to shreds by my surrounding community. My family. My partner’s family. They are very good at overstepping the boundaries of my own business. Like what I put in my body and what I choose to put on my baby’s registry. This conditional support brings anger and confusion to my body. Many want grand-children, many want to see me doing things with my life, but being a mother when I’m (quote) “not ready” is too much for people to truly support. I try to stay away from accusatory language, especially when it comes to how women are treated, just because I don’t want to bring myself into victimhood, but (here I go into victimhood), being a pregnant black woman, I feel little support from the older generations that are supposed to be open to helping. Instead they are intimidated by my moral compass and ethical standings on how to move in the world and how to impact the world in a way that feels best for me and beneficial to the coming generations. I’ve had pushback on cloth diapers, non-hospital birth, my vegetarian diet, or anything that seems out of the ordinary. But honestly, this emotional neglect and support in my choices has been going on for a few years now, since I decided to begin making my own choices instead of choosing to live in survival mode under my parents' decisions. And this is very much expected once you begin turning into an adult. Your parents, who thought that they were ready to let you go and be your own person are scared that their control over you has now worn off. Parents have become commanders in chief instead of guides of unique and independent souls. When and once my baby becomes earthside, I promise to be a guide. A lover. And a friend to the child that chose me as it’s mother. I am not here to govern, but to care for and nurture. I am to be accepting of this being, as the universe has been accepting of me. I am committed to this promise and am continuing to prepare for this role as my body prepares another body for another soul. I realize, in this pregnancy, that I am not in control and that majority of what I am choosing is the way that I have been guided to bring this child earthside, it is not me being dogmatic, it is me honoring the requests of the soul that has chosen to enter my body. These past few weeks, I have been updating my registry every single day after watching youtube videos about baby bags, zero waste parenting, postpartum care, cloth diapers, cloth diaper cleaning/laundry, minimal baby rooms, newborn essentials, etc. I’ve watched a good amount of youtube’s zero waste parenting content and have found it quite inspiring. I have also watched a few videos about gentle parenting and am finding that this seems to be the best route for raising a child that is caring, gentle and emotionally intelligent. Some people around me think I’m making a mistake by following through with my pregnancy, and while I could’ve taken plenty of preventative measures, this is what happened and having people around that are not fully supportive is extremely discouraging. I am aware that this is not ideal and people can have whatever opinions they’d like, but their opinions of how I should raise my child or how I should have gotten pregnant are irrelevant at this point because this is where we are now. There is nothing to think or talk about in regards to that. I have already gone through and continue to go through the emotional heartache of being unmarried, unprepared, and unplanned in my pregnancy. I am holding onto hope, something my baby will not understand until time becomes a concept in their little brain. But I’ll hold onto it for both of us. I love you, little one. &nbsp;&nbsp;(Because it’s natural. It’s human.) https://abigailruthonline.com/11-20-2021 Sun, 21 Nov 2021 18:06:40 +0000 Abigail Ruth Online https://abigailruthonline.com/11-20-2021 <img width="1080" height="1350" width_o="1080" height_o="1350" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/c6e0ee9b3549a5fa4f908b7e4ff3564cc0d22821bfb1010201636909c876c611/bosha7.jpg" data-mid="125228726" border="0" data-scale="9" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/c6e0ee9b3549a5fa4f908b7e4ff3564cc0d22821bfb1010201636909c876c611/bosha7.jpg" /><img width="700" height="1048" width_o="700" height_o="1048" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/191dac95e7b771cc9624b75732dc6960af3f38b6ce01ca3443756346c117e768/IMG_2388.jpg" data-mid="125228724" border="0" data-scale="8" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/700/i/191dac95e7b771cc9624b75732dc6960af3f38b6ce01ca3443756346c117e768/IMG_2388.jpg" /><img width="540" height="675" width_o="540" height_o="675" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/44a9df0242d40236cba3768398cd134508a8f6d8220c21107a6bfc2e0a0eceb4/bosha5.jpg" data-mid="125228725" border="0" data-scale="9" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/540/i/44a9df0242d40236cba3768398cd134508a8f6d8220c21107a6bfc2e0a0eceb4/bosha5.jpg" /><img width="1228" height="1818" width_o="1228" height_o="1818" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/72d14a30366bd2debec6daace1e9978c82efb6358705c396a2f58bbb236e4e97/IMG_3247.jpg" data-mid="125228728" border="0" data-scale="8" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/72d14a30366bd2debec6daace1e9978c82efb6358705c396a2f58bbb236e4e97/IMG_3247.jpg" /><img width="1228" height="1818" width_o="1228" height_o="1818" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/4b1041c272b2a3d39537819e6e762beb29764ab1c1cc00fc61fcffbe50976631/6150100_6150100-R1-E014.jpg.jpg" data-mid="125228729" border="0" data-scale="8" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/4b1041c272b2a3d39537819e6e762beb29764ab1c1cc00fc61fcffbe50976631/6150100_6150100-R1-E014.jpg.jpg" /><img width="750" height="936" width_o="750" height_o="936" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/8cc0ccc5ac85ce7dd2b5a33d52df8473cea13da0dbfff775f3dfe3b6843c4121/IMG_6628.jpg" data-mid="125228733" border="0" data-scale="9" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/750/i/8cc0ccc5ac85ce7dd2b5a33d52df8473cea13da0dbfff775f3dfe3b6843c4121/IMG_6628.jpg" /><img width="340" height="512" width_o="340" height_o="512" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/cfabf97482057d237226c2f7aab4972b9d6ba38c78b9b58090c607468a6cbe68/IMG_5392.jpg" data-mid="125228734" border="0" data-scale="8" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/340/i/cfabf97482057d237226c2f7aab4972b9d6ba38c78b9b58090c607468a6cbe68/IMG_5392.jpg" /><img width="828" height="1031" width_o="828" height_o="1031" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/b75731b422a1cba0a9d05cf536ccbcbb0b9f84652400bda9667e12d849956d2b/phanypaxk.jpg" data-mid="125228722" border="0" data-scale="9" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/828/i/b75731b422a1cba0a9d05cf536ccbcbb0b9f84652400bda9667e12d849956d2b/phanypaxk.jpg" /> abigailruthonline@gmail.com ︎ blog Pregnancy Diaries11/20/2021 - day after blood full moon There’s only so much you can have before even organizing it will make the space cluttered and overwhelmed with energy. With that said, it has been quite difficult for me to clean up. Clean up in my own space, in my car, in my head, or even in or on my body. I have been quite overhwhelmed in all of my being with things to do, people to see, things to take care of and plan, all while doing my best to take care of myself for my baby. The routine acts of each day have become extremely dreadful, even if I have the energy to do them (which isn’t as often as I’d like). I feel that my capacity to behave as a human being is growing, and I don’t feel necessarily un-peaceful, but, I feel like there’s a sense of order that I long for. A sense of health that is just out of my reach. What is holding me back? What must I let go of? Am I letting go in order to gain something else that I desire? How can I find peace now? &nbsp;It seems inevitable that overwhelm becomes integrated into the human vessel. And that this overwhelm must be met with nurturance, as a mother would her child.Yet, who nurtures the mother?As it couldn’t be a job of her own... Have we forgotten to give to the mother? Those [mothers] who endlessly give cannot only be taken from.It’s kind of funny to me that even in the mistreatment of the Wombman, the human with the womb, the human with the ability to birth new life, she continues to give more and more.Because deep down, it’s ingrained in her. The hope that she is leading by example... or maybe the hope that someone will acknowledge her power.And yet, She runs the world.What does she need validation for? &nbsp;&nbsp;(Because it’s natural. It’s human.) https://abigailruthonline.com/11-26-2021 Sat, 27 Nov 2021 01:50:21 +0000 Abigail Ruth Online https://abigailruthonline.com/11-26-2021 <img width="1080" height="1350" width_o="1080" height_o="1350" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/c6e0ee9b3549a5fa4f908b7e4ff3564cc0d22821bfb1010201636909c876c611/bosha7.jpg" data-mid="125749686" border="0" data-scale="9" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/c6e0ee9b3549a5fa4f908b7e4ff3564cc0d22821bfb1010201636909c876c611/bosha7.jpg" /><img width="700" height="1048" width_o="700" height_o="1048" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/191dac95e7b771cc9624b75732dc6960af3f38b6ce01ca3443756346c117e768/IMG_2388.jpg" data-mid="125749684" border="0" data-scale="8" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/700/i/191dac95e7b771cc9624b75732dc6960af3f38b6ce01ca3443756346c117e768/IMG_2388.jpg" /><img width="540" height="675" width_o="540" height_o="675" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/44a9df0242d40236cba3768398cd134508a8f6d8220c21107a6bfc2e0a0eceb4/bosha5.jpg" data-mid="125749685" border="0" data-scale="9" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/540/i/44a9df0242d40236cba3768398cd134508a8f6d8220c21107a6bfc2e0a0eceb4/bosha5.jpg" /><img width="1228" height="1818" width_o="1228" height_o="1818" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/72d14a30366bd2debec6daace1e9978c82efb6358705c396a2f58bbb236e4e97/IMG_3247.jpg" data-mid="125749688" border="0" data-scale="8" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/72d14a30366bd2debec6daace1e9978c82efb6358705c396a2f58bbb236e4e97/IMG_3247.jpg" /><img width="1228" height="1818" width_o="1228" height_o="1818" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/4b1041c272b2a3d39537819e6e762beb29764ab1c1cc00fc61fcffbe50976631/6150100_6150100-R1-E014.jpg.jpg" data-mid="125749689" border="0" data-scale="8" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/4b1041c272b2a3d39537819e6e762beb29764ab1c1cc00fc61fcffbe50976631/6150100_6150100-R1-E014.jpg.jpg" /><img width="750" height="936" width_o="750" height_o="936" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/8cc0ccc5ac85ce7dd2b5a33d52df8473cea13da0dbfff775f3dfe3b6843c4121/IMG_6628.jpg" data-mid="125749693" border="0" data-scale="9" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/750/i/8cc0ccc5ac85ce7dd2b5a33d52df8473cea13da0dbfff775f3dfe3b6843c4121/IMG_6628.jpg" /><img width="340" height="512" width_o="340" height_o="512" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/cfabf97482057d237226c2f7aab4972b9d6ba38c78b9b58090c607468a6cbe68/IMG_5392.jpg" data-mid="125749694" border="0" data-scale="8" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/340/i/cfabf97482057d237226c2f7aab4972b9d6ba38c78b9b58090c607468a6cbe68/IMG_5392.jpg" /><img width="828" height="1031" width_o="828" height_o="1031" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/b75731b422a1cba0a9d05cf536ccbcbb0b9f84652400bda9667e12d849956d2b/phanypaxk.jpg" data-mid="125749682" border="0" data-scale="9" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/828/i/b75731b422a1cba0a9d05cf536ccbcbb0b9f84652400bda9667e12d849956d2b/phanypaxk.jpg" /> ︎ blog&nbsp; &gt;&gt; Pregnancy Diaries11/26/2021 - day after ‘Thanksgiving’ As I transition from maiden to mother, growing another being in my womb, I become aware of my own discomfort with change, specifically physical growth. For a while, I have been attempting to grow spiritually and mentally, build a connection with myself and The All Knowing, both being invisible initially. Things that can be hidden from the public, kept secret and sacred. While keeping your own life and personal practices sacred, there comes a point when your growth must come to the out side of your mind, into your body and expressed in physical manifestation. Solidified in order to be fully integrated into the human body and understood by the human brain, because it has been seen and/or felt.&nbsp; In this process of growth and change, or transformation into the physical, there is much vulnerability. There’s a point in which you cannot hide anymore, you have to show up, like a being growing inside a wombman’s belly must display it’s growth inside it’s mother before revealing it’s own face earthside. Transitioning into a new form of vulnerability, excited and ready to learn. Open to receive love. Growth and the transformation that comes from it never ends. It is the inevitable cyclical nature of life itself, or rather: life, death and rebirth itself.This inevitability of transformation and constant vulnerability has been extremely beautiful to witness, in my own body and in those closely surrounding me. Even in the discomfort, I have found myself so much more supportive of those doing their best, and of my Self doing her best.&nbsp; This is how we make a mark on the world. This is how we lead by example. Bringing thoughts from the crown to the ground (root), from ether to earth and back again. I choose to be conscious during this process of bringing a being manifest on earth. I choose to trust in the ancestral knowledge of my body to transform fetus to baby being, and transform me from young woman to mother.&nbsp; The most vulnerable experience I have ever witnessed. I am grateful to be a part in this. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. &nbsp;&nbsp;(Because it’s natural. It’s human.) https://abigailruthonline.com/11-27-2021 Sat, 27 Nov 2021 15:07:11 +0000 Abigail Ruth Online https://abigailruthonline.com/11-27-2021 <img width="1080" height="1350" width_o="1080" height_o="1350" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/c6e0ee9b3549a5fa4f908b7e4ff3564cc0d22821bfb1010201636909c876c611/bosha7.jpg" data-mid="125775648" border="0" data-scale="9" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/c6e0ee9b3549a5fa4f908b7e4ff3564cc0d22821bfb1010201636909c876c611/bosha7.jpg" /><img width="700" height="1048" width_o="700" height_o="1048" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/191dac95e7b771cc9624b75732dc6960af3f38b6ce01ca3443756346c117e768/IMG_2388.jpg" data-mid="125775646" border="0" data-scale="8" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/700/i/191dac95e7b771cc9624b75732dc6960af3f38b6ce01ca3443756346c117e768/IMG_2388.jpg" /><img width="540" height="675" width_o="540" height_o="675" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/44a9df0242d40236cba3768398cd134508a8f6d8220c21107a6bfc2e0a0eceb4/bosha5.jpg" data-mid="125775647" border="0" data-scale="9" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/540/i/44a9df0242d40236cba3768398cd134508a8f6d8220c21107a6bfc2e0a0eceb4/bosha5.jpg" /><img width="1228" height="1818" width_o="1228" height_o="1818" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/72d14a30366bd2debec6daace1e9978c82efb6358705c396a2f58bbb236e4e97/IMG_3247.jpg" data-mid="125775650" border="0" data-scale="8" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/72d14a30366bd2debec6daace1e9978c82efb6358705c396a2f58bbb236e4e97/IMG_3247.jpg" /><img width="1228" height="1818" width_o="1228" height_o="1818" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/4b1041c272b2a3d39537819e6e762beb29764ab1c1cc00fc61fcffbe50976631/6150100_6150100-R1-E014.jpg.jpg" data-mid="125775651" border="0" data-scale="8" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/4b1041c272b2a3d39537819e6e762beb29764ab1c1cc00fc61fcffbe50976631/6150100_6150100-R1-E014.jpg.jpg" /><img width="750" height="936" width_o="750" height_o="936" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/8cc0ccc5ac85ce7dd2b5a33d52df8473cea13da0dbfff775f3dfe3b6843c4121/IMG_6628.jpg" data-mid="125775655" border="0" data-scale="9" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/750/i/8cc0ccc5ac85ce7dd2b5a33d52df8473cea13da0dbfff775f3dfe3b6843c4121/IMG_6628.jpg" /><img width="340" height="512" width_o="340" height_o="512" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/cfabf97482057d237226c2f7aab4972b9d6ba38c78b9b58090c607468a6cbe68/IMG_5392.jpg" data-mid="125775656" border="0" data-scale="8" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/340/i/cfabf97482057d237226c2f7aab4972b9d6ba38c78b9b58090c607468a6cbe68/IMG_5392.jpg" /><img width="828" height="1031" width_o="828" height_o="1031" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/b75731b422a1cba0a9d05cf536ccbcbb0b9f84652400bda9667e12d849956d2b/phanypaxk.jpg" data-mid="125775644" border="0" data-scale="9" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/828/i/b75731b422a1cba0a9d05cf536ccbcbb0b9f84652400bda9667e12d849956d2b/phanypaxk.jpg" /> abigailruthonline@gmail.com ︎ blog &gt;&gt; Pregnancy Diaries11/27/2021 It’s been funny watching people respond to a pregnant woman. There’s an overwhelm of excitement about new life. Yet, not many are aware of their domination of conversation. Much of the conversation is an opportunity to try to connect with a woman that they may not know on a personal level by dumping their own mom knowledge on you. I find rare occasions in which you, the pregnant one, has enough space in conversation to mention that you’ll be having the baby in a birth center and that you’ll do your best to breastfeed before their excitement to share overwhelms their body, leaving you nervously giggling as you look for a smooth exit.&nbsp; And it’s not that I do not want to hear other womens’ experiences, but there is rarely an invitation for the amount of information that rolls off their tongues before they realize they’ve been rambling for 15 minutes about their epidural.&nbsp; I’ve heard plently of horror stories of contraction pain, tearing, painful poops, failed latching and sleepless nights. All great warnings, mind you. They’re just funny. The Pregnancy Peanut Gallery. Those who have endless words of advice and little care to let the pregnant woman share her experience. But, I guess that’s what my Doula is for, to listen to me and help me do what’s best for me. This is a very humbling experience for me to learn to listen and keep my peace. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. &nbsp;&nbsp;(Because it’s natural. It’s human.) https://abigailruthonline.com/12-1-2021 Wed, 01 Dec 2021 15:34:19 +0000 Abigail Ruth Online https://abigailruthonline.com/12-1-2021 <img width="1080" height="1350" width_o="1080" height_o="1350" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/c6e0ee9b3549a5fa4f908b7e4ff3564cc0d22821bfb1010201636909c876c611/bosha7.jpg" data-mid="126198491" border="0" data-scale="9" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/c6e0ee9b3549a5fa4f908b7e4ff3564cc0d22821bfb1010201636909c876c611/bosha7.jpg" /><img width="700" height="1048" width_o="700" height_o="1048" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/191dac95e7b771cc9624b75732dc6960af3f38b6ce01ca3443756346c117e768/IMG_2388.jpg" data-mid="126198489" border="0" data-scale="8" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/700/i/191dac95e7b771cc9624b75732dc6960af3f38b6ce01ca3443756346c117e768/IMG_2388.jpg" /><img width="540" height="675" width_o="540" height_o="675" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/44a9df0242d40236cba3768398cd134508a8f6d8220c21107a6bfc2e0a0eceb4/bosha5.jpg" data-mid="126198490" border="0" data-scale="9" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/540/i/44a9df0242d40236cba3768398cd134508a8f6d8220c21107a6bfc2e0a0eceb4/bosha5.jpg" /><img width="1228" height="1818" width_o="1228" height_o="1818" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/72d14a30366bd2debec6daace1e9978c82efb6358705c396a2f58bbb236e4e97/IMG_3247.jpg" data-mid="126198493" border="0" data-scale="8" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/72d14a30366bd2debec6daace1e9978c82efb6358705c396a2f58bbb236e4e97/IMG_3247.jpg" /><img width="1793" height="2194" width_o="1793" height_o="2194" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/3818a0775cb1307ae1501fe1403d855914a2aba1dfdc2bea7b4485a326f0094f/image-1.jpg" data-mid="126198492" border="0" data-scale="9" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/3818a0775cb1307ae1501fe1403d855914a2aba1dfdc2bea7b4485a326f0094f/image-1.jpg" /><img width="1228" height="1818" width_o="1228" height_o="1818" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/4b1041c272b2a3d39537819e6e762beb29764ab1c1cc00fc61fcffbe50976631/6150100_6150100-R1-E014.jpg.jpg" data-mid="126198495" border="0" data-scale="8" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/4b1041c272b2a3d39537819e6e762beb29764ab1c1cc00fc61fcffbe50976631/6150100_6150100-R1-E014.jpg.jpg" /><img width="750" height="936" width_o="750" height_o="936" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/8cc0ccc5ac85ce7dd2b5a33d52df8473cea13da0dbfff775f3dfe3b6843c4121/IMG_6628.jpg" data-mid="126198499" border="0" data-scale="9" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/750/i/8cc0ccc5ac85ce7dd2b5a33d52df8473cea13da0dbfff775f3dfe3b6843c4121/IMG_6628.jpg" /><img width="340" height="512" width_o="340" height_o="512" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/cfabf97482057d237226c2f7aab4972b9d6ba38c78b9b58090c607468a6cbe68/IMG_5392.jpg" data-mid="126198500" border="0" data-scale="8" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/340/i/cfabf97482057d237226c2f7aab4972b9d6ba38c78b9b58090c607468a6cbe68/IMG_5392.jpg" /><img width="828" height="1031" width_o="828" height_o="1031" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/b75731b422a1cba0a9d05cf536ccbcbb0b9f84652400bda9667e12d849956d2b/phanypaxk.jpg" data-mid="126198487" border="0" data-scale="9" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/828/i/b75731b422a1cba0a9d05cf536ccbcbb0b9f84652400bda9667e12d849956d2b/phanypaxk.jpg" /> abigailruthonline@gmail.commodel | writer | yoga teacher ︎ blog &gt;&gt; Pregnancy Diaries12/1/2021 -- in the midst of hormonal hysteria Yeah. I don’t want to do this anymore. And yet, I feel like it’s the only thing keeping me alive. The movement of the little one inside me reminds me of this wombman’s body. And she’s now attached. She couldn’t ever let it go now. And yet, she still doesn’t want to do it anymore. It’s ruining the life she thought she had for herself. That life, it’s no longer tangible and the constant change is becoming unbearable.[I commend all the men who have dealt with pregnant women and stayed around. They are strong.] A woman that thought she had control over her emotions, now doesn’t even notice when she’s yelling until the damage of the screams have already torn through. And she forgets. She forgets that 7 minutes ago she was angry because now she’s wetting the pages in her journal with tears. Ripping through the damp pages as she passionately writes...“You’d be better off without me...”...And my deep, yet quickly changing emotions. Would I really be okay with that?&nbsp; Hysterical Hormones. How in the hell do you deal with those? Maybe leave ‘em alone? Or just leave me alone...“You’d be better off without me.” (Because it’s natural. It’s human.) https://abigailruthonline.com/12-7-2021 Tue, 07 Dec 2021 21:32:04 +0000 Abigail Ruth Online https://abigailruthonline.com/12-7-2021 <img width="1080" height="1350" width_o="1080" height_o="1350" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/c6e0ee9b3549a5fa4f908b7e4ff3564cc0d22821bfb1010201636909c876c611/bosha7.jpg" data-mid="126770816" border="0" data-scale="9" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/c6e0ee9b3549a5fa4f908b7e4ff3564cc0d22821bfb1010201636909c876c611/bosha7.jpg" /><img width="700" height="1048" width_o="700" height_o="1048" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/191dac95e7b771cc9624b75732dc6960af3f38b6ce01ca3443756346c117e768/IMG_2388.jpg" data-mid="126770814" border="0" data-scale="8" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/700/i/191dac95e7b771cc9624b75732dc6960af3f38b6ce01ca3443756346c117e768/IMG_2388.jpg" /><img width="540" height="675" width_o="540" height_o="675" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/44a9df0242d40236cba3768398cd134508a8f6d8220c21107a6bfc2e0a0eceb4/bosha5.jpg" data-mid="126770815" border="0" data-scale="9" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/540/i/44a9df0242d40236cba3768398cd134508a8f6d8220c21107a6bfc2e0a0eceb4/bosha5.jpg" /><img width="1228" height="1818" width_o="1228" height_o="1818" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/72d14a30366bd2debec6daace1e9978c82efb6358705c396a2f58bbb236e4e97/IMG_3247.jpg" data-mid="126770818" border="0" data-scale="8" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/72d14a30366bd2debec6daace1e9978c82efb6358705c396a2f58bbb236e4e97/IMG_3247.jpg" /><img width="1793" height="2194" width_o="1793" height_o="2194" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/3818a0775cb1307ae1501fe1403d855914a2aba1dfdc2bea7b4485a326f0094f/image-1.jpg" data-mid="126770817" border="0" data-scale="9" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/3818a0775cb1307ae1501fe1403d855914a2aba1dfdc2bea7b4485a326f0094f/image-1.jpg" /><img width="1228" height="1818" width_o="1228" height_o="1818" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/4b1041c272b2a3d39537819e6e762beb29764ab1c1cc00fc61fcffbe50976631/6150100_6150100-R1-E014.jpg.jpg" data-mid="126770819" border="0" data-scale="8" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/4b1041c272b2a3d39537819e6e762beb29764ab1c1cc00fc61fcffbe50976631/6150100_6150100-R1-E014.jpg.jpg" /><img width="750" height="936" width_o="750" height_o="936" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/8cc0ccc5ac85ce7dd2b5a33d52df8473cea13da0dbfff775f3dfe3b6843c4121/IMG_6628.jpg" data-mid="126770823" border="0" data-scale="9" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/750/i/8cc0ccc5ac85ce7dd2b5a33d52df8473cea13da0dbfff775f3dfe3b6843c4121/IMG_6628.jpg" /><img width="340" height="512" width_o="340" height_o="512" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/cfabf97482057d237226c2f7aab4972b9d6ba38c78b9b58090c607468a6cbe68/IMG_5392.jpg" data-mid="126770824" border="0" data-scale="8" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/340/i/cfabf97482057d237226c2f7aab4972b9d6ba38c78b9b58090c607468a6cbe68/IMG_5392.jpg" /><img width="828" height="1031" width_o="828" height_o="1031" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/b75731b422a1cba0a9d05cf536ccbcbb0b9f84652400bda9667e12d849956d2b/phanypaxk.jpg" data-mid="126770812" border="0" data-scale="9" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/828/i/b75731b422a1cba0a9d05cf536ccbcbb0b9f84652400bda9667e12d849956d2b/phanypaxk.jpg" /> abigailruthonline@gmail.commodel | writer | yoga teacher ︎ blog &gt;&gt; Pregnancy Diaries12/7/2021 - how’d I find out? Here we go into the unknown of how I ended up here. Here meaning with a fluttering fetus in my belly. I’ll start by saying: this was not my intention.&nbsp;I had been working at a restaurant. A french one that paid good money. But, working in the restaurant industry is a dirty job, physically and emotionally. There are long hours with little to no breaks on your feet dealing with needy customers but also sexually excited men with no limits on their approach to women in the kitchen.&nbsp; Because of the before mentioned toxicity, I was looking to make my exit from this draining industry. I didn’t quite know what changed my mind, since I had put up with it for almost 4 years because it payed me so well, but, I knew something in my body was changing. I found myself over the drama and gossip and was isolating myself from those who also hustled in this space.&nbsp; I also found myself waiting for my period to come, since I usually could tell when it was coming, or knew the average date that blood would run down my leg. I felt a gush while taking an order, luckily wearing a mask so my expression was only halfway interpreted. I quickly got to an open toilet, where I hovered, praying that there was a gorgeous red in my draws, to no avail. Though, I did find a slight hue on the tissue I used to wipe... implantation bleeding is what that’s called according to the interwebs.“If I’m not still bleeding tomorrow...” I thought. And I wasn’t.&nbsp; So, like any other who suspects a fertilized egg, I ran to Target at 8am for confirmation. Most of the times I’ve taken pregnancy tests (which was atleast 3 times before this one, sparatically throughout my sex life), I did it right in the stores’ restroom. No, this is not something I’m proud of, but it’s true. This time, I chose to wait until I got home. I took two. Both were negative. Yet, if that was the case, I still needed to go to the doctor to see what was going on with my lady parts that my period was not showing up. I made an appointment for the next rising, in which I told my partner and mother about.&nbsp; My partner and I walked into the office with white knuckles and rapid heartbeats. Extremely anxious. So much, I could’ve definitely soiled my draws. Instead, I peed in a cup.&nbsp; We sat in a quiet room. “Well, either way, this is a wake up call to get our shit together.” That was the most comforting thing we could think to say out loud. Yet, not comforting enough.&nbsp; So, you know those shows or movies when a couple finds out their pregnant and the doctor comes in the room with a big smile and a huge congratulations? Yeah. Our experience wasn’t too far off until she started asking us questions like, “was this planned? Do you have work? Are you excited?” To which all were a monotone “no.” The answers to the latter two have transformed. As I reflect on this time of change, I remember conversations I had with myself at 19 years old. I told myself that I wanted to have a baby by 24. I just turned 24 in October. So, here I am, getting more and more excited, and equally as anxious. Grateful nonetheless for the opportunity for growth. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. &nbsp;&nbsp;(Because it’s natural. It’s human.) https://abigailruthonline.com/12-13-2021 Tue, 14 Dec 2021 02:46:10 +0000 Abigail Ruth Online https://abigailruthonline.com/12-13-2021 <img width="1080" height="1350" width_o="1080" height_o="1350" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/c6e0ee9b3549a5fa4f908b7e4ff3564cc0d22821bfb1010201636909c876c611/bosha7.jpg" data-mid="127323910" border="0" data-scale="9" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/c6e0ee9b3549a5fa4f908b7e4ff3564cc0d22821bfb1010201636909c876c611/bosha7.jpg" /><img width="700" height="1048" width_o="700" height_o="1048" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/191dac95e7b771cc9624b75732dc6960af3f38b6ce01ca3443756346c117e768/IMG_2388.jpg" data-mid="127323908" border="0" data-scale="8" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/700/i/191dac95e7b771cc9624b75732dc6960af3f38b6ce01ca3443756346c117e768/IMG_2388.jpg" /><img width="540" height="675" width_o="540" height_o="675" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/44a9df0242d40236cba3768398cd134508a8f6d8220c21107a6bfc2e0a0eceb4/bosha5.jpg" data-mid="127323909" border="0" data-scale="9" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/540/i/44a9df0242d40236cba3768398cd134508a8f6d8220c21107a6bfc2e0a0eceb4/bosha5.jpg" /><img width="1228" height="1818" width_o="1228" height_o="1818" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/72d14a30366bd2debec6daace1e9978c82efb6358705c396a2f58bbb236e4e97/IMG_3247.jpg" data-mid="127323912" border="0" data-scale="8" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/72d14a30366bd2debec6daace1e9978c82efb6358705c396a2f58bbb236e4e97/IMG_3247.jpg" /><img width="1793" height="2194" width_o="1793" height_o="2194" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/3818a0775cb1307ae1501fe1403d855914a2aba1dfdc2bea7b4485a326f0094f/image-1.jpg" data-mid="127323911" border="0" data-scale="9" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/3818a0775cb1307ae1501fe1403d855914a2aba1dfdc2bea7b4485a326f0094f/image-1.jpg" /><img width="1228" height="1818" width_o="1228" height_o="1818" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/4b1041c272b2a3d39537819e6e762beb29764ab1c1cc00fc61fcffbe50976631/6150100_6150100-R1-E014.jpg.jpg" data-mid="127323913" border="0" data-scale="8" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/4b1041c272b2a3d39537819e6e762beb29764ab1c1cc00fc61fcffbe50976631/6150100_6150100-R1-E014.jpg.jpg" /><img width="750" height="936" width_o="750" height_o="936" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/8cc0ccc5ac85ce7dd2b5a33d52df8473cea13da0dbfff775f3dfe3b6843c4121/IMG_6628.jpg" data-mid="127323917" border="0" data-scale="9" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/750/i/8cc0ccc5ac85ce7dd2b5a33d52df8473cea13da0dbfff775f3dfe3b6843c4121/IMG_6628.jpg" /><img width="340" height="512" width_o="340" height_o="512" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/cfabf97482057d237226c2f7aab4972b9d6ba38c78b9b58090c607468a6cbe68/IMG_5392.jpg" data-mid="127323918" border="0" data-scale="8" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/340/i/cfabf97482057d237226c2f7aab4972b9d6ba38c78b9b58090c607468a6cbe68/IMG_5392.jpg" /><img width="828" height="1031" width_o="828" height_o="1031" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/b75731b422a1cba0a9d05cf536ccbcbb0b9f84652400bda9667e12d849956d2b/phanypaxk.jpg" data-mid="127323906" border="0" data-scale="9" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/828/i/b75731b422a1cba0a9d05cf536ccbcbb0b9f84652400bda9667e12d849956d2b/phanypaxk.jpg" /> abigailruthonline@gmail.commodel | writer | yoga teacher ︎ blog &gt;&gt; Pregnancy Diaries12/13/2021 - coming into reality &amp; allowing for grief of the fantasy. Reality. It doesn’t always show up how you want it to be. And I’ve had to make that okay with me. Life doesn’t do what you want. It does what you need.&nbsp; And it’s our job to recognize life as it is. In this moment. Life always creates a better story than our own programmed minds ever could. We have too many expectations and subconcious beliefs to create something worth being witnessed. Something we’d actually enjoy taking part in. Life is true. And I am grateful for my truth. Because my truth includes things that I never could have planned, like the baby in my stomach.&nbsp; I am choosing not to be a victim of the truth, but one who gratefully and gracefully lives in truth.“Rolling with the punches.” Let’s act like we care for the lives we live...in Reality. [Santosa. From the 3rd of 8 limbs of Hatha Yoga. A Niyama, or internal practice, meaning contentment: being accepting of things happening or not.] THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. &nbsp;&nbsp;(Because it’s natural. It’s human.)