12/27/2021 

On January 23, 2021, I had my one and only ultrasound. It was quite surreal to see my baby with it’s body parts inside of my body, kicking and moving around with all it’s energy. 

Then, as my day progressed, I began to feel a sense of imposter syndrome. I began thinking of all the women that have come before me and witnessed growth in their own bodies. And while this thought can be empowering in some scenarios, like when thinking of labor and delivery, in this case, it caused some sadness, a feeling of insignificance in my body.

Human experience is a normal thing. There are many human beings having human experiences.  Reproduction is a part of human life, or any life. But, just because it’s common, done by many, does not make it any less magical.

Becoming a mom can seem to be one of the most society conforming things to do. “Have a baby. everyone’s doing it. it’ll be fun!”  It’s a normal and necessary experience. Yet, it is still one of the most magically transformative experiences a human being can have. Becoming a parent.

Don’t let the normality take away from the magic of creation and transformation.

Humans must experience transformation in order to understand and appreciate the constant change happening in each moment.

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I find that I have had an expectation for myself to be as vulnerable as possible through this process of change in my body. And while I do see this vulnerability as a beneficial act for others and myself, I also find benefit in keeping my own life sacred by keeping some things private, like the sex of my baby or names. In doing so, I can keep for myself some of the magical feelings that come during pregnancy.

Allowing myself to sit in momentary sweetness of growing another while growing myself. 

A common challenge that our generation has to stand up to daily: whether to share or not. Whether other people’s validation, or criticism, is worth it or not.

And that’s for the individual to decide. 

I choose to be present in this space and aware enough to know when to share with my community. Creating a soft space for new life to enter our world.

THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.

baby feet

  (Because it’s natural. It’s human.)