3/18/2022 -- baby’s genitalia

For 8 months,
I have been “in the dark” about my baby’s gender.
For the protection of the soul that chose to enter my body,
I have chosen not to share the gender with anyone. I have even chosen to not find out myself. This is a hard concept for people to accept. They say they’re too impatient, too anxious, feeling too unprepared. And while I do feel all of these things, I find power in leaving my baby to be their own. To reveal themselves as they are and to be loved as they are no matter what ideas have been made up about them while they’ve prepared to enter the outside world. Sacred in their own way. My baby asked not to be revealed in gender during a time in the world where gender seems to be such a pressing topic of discussion.

I’ve had many who know me and many who know only my first name, say that they think I’ll have this gender or that gender based on how I am, or look. I’ve had people tell me that THEY want me to have a certain gender because of their own experience with the opposite sex or even with their tiredness of seeing so many of a particular sex of baby around them.

There’s hope that people hold onto when coming into contact with a human with a seed growing in their womb. There’s hope for the world seeing the coming generation being built in someone’s body. Even in knowing nothing about the person, their environment or even what would be the most supportive way to be around someone going through this process, there’s a tremendous amount of hope and curiosity about how it’s going for this human growing machine. Yet, in the curiosity, there is a lack of maturity to let go of the genitalia that a human being has. There’s a need for humans to know something about the baby before it’s born. And for me, it has been a test of my patience and discipline to stick to the plan of not knowing what “kind” of baby I’ll be having. The gender is not something that is super important to me because I know that my baby is more than it’s genitalia. And I know that the genitalia are of little importance until they are released from my womb’s dark and cozy hold. I respect this new human as one that chose to experience human life as whatever it is, being a vessel for movement and understanding.

I cannot lie and say that I haven’t at any point in my pregnancy been hopeful for one gender over the other because of my own experience with the opposite or same sex as me, but I will not project those wishes onto my child anymore, and I trust only myself to respect the wishes of the coming human being.

That is my responsibility as it’s mother. That is my duty as an understanding human being.

THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.                                                                                                                                                                             

  (Because it’s natural. It’s human.)