abigailruthonline@gmail.com
model | writer | yoga teacher








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>> Pregnancy Diaries

3/9/2022

I don’t even know what to publish on this site anymore. my real life has taken over my online presence, and maybe that’s a good thing.

I’ve realized how immature and naive I am in this life shit. Tryna do the whole family thing so quickly. with little warning. 

I type things onto this page and 2 paragraphs in, whatever I just wrote becomes the worst thing I’ve ever read.

My point in doing this blog is to help me process how my life is rapidly changing. In some of these posts, I’ve been more poetic. In others, I’ve dumped my emotions into a page for the little space of my internet world to read.

I used to write a lot more... because I used to know what to say. But, I feel like I’m now realizing the difference in healthily sharing. 

I’ve shared things so widely outside of my comfort zone. Kinda like this baby is pushing me out of my comfort zone. Like I really have no choice but to put my ass on display. It’s kind of like I’m detoxing.

I have to decide if I want to be here. I have to decide if I will be accepting, still, of the life that I have been blessed with. This life is for nobody but me to go through. And that’s perfect. 

I’m kind of disappointed in myself for not completely accepting my fate, or the consequences of my decisions. 

Now, I must decide which way will make me more in joy with my life.
 
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.                                                                                                                                                                             




  (Because it’s natural. It’s human.)