01/04/2022

Every day I look at my baby’s profile and cry. Every day I rise to kicks in the bladder.
Every night, I toss and turn hoping to find a position that will allow for rest in my body and breath in my lungs.

My anxiety runs high these days as my belly grows by the second, and I find a need to sit my ass down. I didn’t realize how much rest I had been neglecting. I didn’t realize how much food I had been neglecting. 

In reality, food isn’t as pleasurable as it once was. Food has just become a necessity for making the grumbles of my tummy go away and to make sure baby is growing according to the doctors expectations.

So, I guess you could say that the seed growing in my stomach is the only thing really keeping me alive and hopeful for better days. Because otherwise, my appetite would be shot and my anxiety would leave me lying in bed watching the sun fall and rise.

At this point, lying in bed for as long as I need is encouraged by my support system and doesn’t sound like too bad of an idea. They say “if you’re tired, go to sleep. And if that means you’re sleeping all day, so be it.”

I guess they forgot I have bills to pay... or maybe they wouldn’t be too mad about paying for them for now. LOL

I’ve been applying for grants for maternity leave, to help support my healing process.

If you’re also pregnant and need support, here are a few orgs that offer funding to black women for doula services, maternity leave, food, transportation and even cash for baby essentials:

~ Dove Black Birth Equity Fund:
https://www.dove.com/us/en/baby/black-birth-equity-fund-application.html

~Equity Before Birth Non-profit (in the Triangle Area, NC)
https://www.equitybeforebirth.com/


THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.

  (Because it’s natural. It’s human.)